Are You Sure the Life You Are Living is Your Own?

Dream what you want to dreamAre you living in a marriage where you have had to change who you are, or have lost sight of yourself completely, just to avoid conflict and minimize fear?

Are you working in a particular job or industry because your parents or spouse told you it was the responsible choice?

Are you a woman who would rather be at home with your kids but other women say your leadership role is an inspiration to many and you would be letting them down if you chose to stay at home? Or a man who would prefer to stay at home and you believe society – and your friends – would judge you negatively?

Are you leading your team down a path you don’t believe in because the executive suite said it was the only path allowed?

Are you in a role that you’re not really passionate about, and you feel like there is so much more out there for you?

Then whose life are you living?

We all have responsibilities to our families that of course must be respected and fulfilled, and it is important to be sensitive to the needs of others. But at what point do we realize how easy it is to use these responsibilities as an excuse for why we are not choosing – on purpose and with our whole hearts – to live true to who we are and what we really want for ourselves? To choose to be all of who we were created to be, knowing that we are meant to evolve and grow over the course of our lives?

In my current roles I come across so many people who are simply not fulfilled, feeling as though they are missing out on something important but not really sure what that might be. Others know that they are not living a life aligned with their true self, but are unsure of how to make the (sometimes) difficult transition to the life they are meant to be living.

What I advise each person is usually so personal, but begins with:

  • Light a candle (if you have one), find a quiet place where you are at peace and connect with your soul. Think about it as a beautiful light inside you that is bursting forth from within, and that has all the answers you are seeking.
  • Ask yourself the questions that come immediately to your mind and listen to what bubbles up from within you. You will be astounded to know how easily the answers come when you call them forward. Often these are answers that you intuitively knew all along.
  • Write down what you asked and what you received. Then write down what stands in the way for you, be it fears, old belief systems, or aspects of your life you need to address.
  • Think of three ways you can immediately begin working toward moving those blocks so that you are more aligned in your life with what you want – with your truest wishes. Write down these three steps and commit to them wholeheartedly.
  • Rinse and repeat

And watch as changes in your life begin to unfold in a beautiful and profound way. Changes that, at the end of each day, empower you to say, “Today I lived every second true to who I am.”

Photo is Dream What You Want to Dream by Rejik.

The Secret of Leaders Who Are Ahead of Their Time

Time Waits for No ManI did an interview a few days ago where I was asked about the importance of introverts and extroverts understanding each other in business. My response included something along the lines of, “Business is all about relationships. We create products, services, and companies by working with other people to bring these things to life. Along the way we share ideas, we negotiate, we brainstorm, we listen, and unfortunately sometimes we misunderstand each other. The more we work to better understand each other, the easier it is to reach our goals together.”

I believe this premise wholeheartedly – that relationships are the foundation of business, not just between introverts and extroverts – which is why I never understood some people’s belief that emotions should never be part of business. Emotions are part of who we are as humans, we cannot deny them. They affect how we work with our boss, colleagues, negotiation partners, suppliers, and everyone we come into contact with, regardless of whether we try to hide them from others or not. 

Thus, the more we understand ourselves and our emotions, and the source of our emotions, the better we will understand why we interact with others the way we do, and the more successful we will be in business and life. 

But understanding ourselves and our emotions is not easy. It requires being honest with ourselves about past hurts, old belief systems, and doing the arduous work of forgiving ourselves and others, and of releasing the emotions -and their source- that no longer serve our higher good. Let’s be honest, it’s so much easier to just complain than to do the work to make positive change in ourselves.

So, I was thrilled to see the article about “conscious uncoupling” by Dr. Habib Sadeghi and Dr. Sherry Sami that became mainstream last week, accompanying the announcement of the uncoupling of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin. While many people are focusing on the “uncoupling” aspect of the article, I particularly appreciated its anthropological look at our emotional support structures and how they impact our relationships. While the article was examining intimate relationships, the lessons applied to all relationships including those we create in business:

“Life is a spiritual exercise in evolving from an exoskeleton for support and survival to an endoskeleton. Think about it. When we get our emotional support and well-being from outside ourselves, everything someone says or does can set us off and ruin our day. Since we can’t control or predict what another person does, our moods are at the mercy of our environment…Everything is then perceived as a personal attack and attempt to upset us. Up goes our armor and it’s all-out war.

With an internal support structure, we can stand strong because our stability doesn’t depend on anything outside ourselves. We can be vulnerable and pay attention to what’s happening around us, knowing that whatever comes, we have the flexibility to adapt to the situation. There’s a reason we call cowards spineless: It takes great courage to drop your armor, expose your soft inside, and come to terms with the reality of what’s happening around you. It’s a powerful thing to then realize that you can survive it…When we learn to find our emotional and spiritual support from inside ourselves, nothing that changes our environment or relationships can unsettle us.”

Think about how what Drs. Sadeghi and Sami say applies to leaders, entrepreneurs and innovators who have chaos swirling about them at all times. Those who are able to do the work to allow their emotional and spiritual support to come from within themselves will be most adaptable. They will survive, and they will thrive. They will be the ones who rise to success in all aspects of their life.

It’s time to stop denying the importance of self-awareness and actualization in the business world. And while it may be ahead of it’s time, I believe the real leaders of the future will be those who understand this and begin the work of self-discovery that leads to the courage to drop your armor in order to survive, thrive and rise.

My business partner, an award winning and brilliant businesswoman in addition to a divine intuitive energy healer, has named this work, “WorQ,” with the Q symbolizing the soul’s journey of self-discovery that we are all on. She defines worQ as the work you take on to work on yourself, to reconnect to your Higher Self, your Soul:

“We all have our own tree of life, rooted through our soul’s path and connected to our divine light, our source. The WorQ awakens more of this path for you lighting up the areas of your life that need to be “pruned” for a stronger, more fruitful you. Along our journeys we all grow, evolve and experience life through our own perceived understanding. As we grow and evolve and branch out into our lives, we recognize that we have changed along the way. This change opens our hearts to more. Through the WorQ many wonderful changes will happen as you take special care of healing your heart’s truest emotions to uncover your heart’s true desire.”

Some will call this “woo-woo.” Others will recognize it as very powerful ancient wisdom. Ancient, but ahead of its time, and no less powerful than it was in past millennia. ~~~

BUY The Introvert’s Guide to Success in Business and Leadership eBook on Amazon for Kindle!

*Photo is Time Waits for No Man by Nicole on Flickr.

Why Being Superwoman is More Important than Ever

Pink SuperwomanI read a blog post that was written just in time for International Women’s Day by a woman who said in her effort to be Superwoman she had gained 50 pounds and was crying herself to sleep almost every night. She said she had decided to quit, to hang up her cape. And she made it sound like a very noble thing to do, encouraging other women to do the same.

Her blog post made me incredibly sad. Women have always been a force for positive, transformative change and for good in the world. The thought of us hanging up our capes and quitting seems unimaginable.

What I realized in reading this woman’s heartfelt post – and I truly did feel for her – is that many women have an old belief system that drives their understanding of what it means to be Superwoman, a woman who elevates her life in all of its facets and who plays each role she chooses with great purpose, courage, and poise. There seems to be an old belief that it involves doing everything for everyone else while making ourselves the last priority. This belief system is fueled by the notion that being Superwoman is achieved through utter self-sacrifice, instead of self-love and nurturing.

The reality is, women do not gain 50 pounds and cry themselves to sleep at night when they are connected to their True Selves, living in alignment with their True Purpose, immersed in their heart energy which empowers them to act from a place of love instead of from fear, resentment, or guilt, and nurturing themselves intentionally with love and positive consciousness. This is what being Superwoman is truly all about.

It is about being all of the woman you were created to be. 

It requires putting your own oxygen mask on first (full of love and actions and thoughts that are in your higher good and support you) so you can go out and love others more, from a deeper and truer place, fully living your soul’s truest wishes.

When we as women understand this, it becomes clear why being Superwoman is more important than ever, and why it’s so crucial that we support each other being all of who we were created to be! Because so many of us have become disconnected from our True Selves by listening to the messages of society or our mothers or our insecure friends or our spouses, or to old belief systems that lay deep within us that tell us we are supposed to sacrifice ourselves in order to prove our value and worth. Many of us have lost faith in our ability to bring our truest wishes to life and we’ve forgotten the path that our soul purposefully placed us on long ago, because we’ve made choices that put others first instead of feeding ourselves the oxygen of life.

So many of us are trapped in the old belief system that putting others first makes us better women. How is that possible? If we were created by God (or whichever higher power you believe in) to be all of who we were divinely created to be, how can sacrificing this be what God wants for us? We all know the truth…that truly and unabashedly loving and caring for ourselves first makes us infinitely more capable of loving and caring for others more! By connecting to our souls and awakening all of our Essences we become infinitely more powerful than we ever dreamed possible. We’ve just lost sight of these truths.

It’s time in history for women to give ourselves permission to be all of who we were created to be! It’s time for us to stop waiting for someone else to give us permission or to grant us power. And it’s time for us to support other women who are ready to be all of who they were created to be, instead of allowing jealousies and insecurities to lead us to put other women down. Instead of feeding drama, gossip or negativity. Everything we need lies within us. It’s source is our divine soul.

We have the power to awaken all 31 Essences of Being a Woman. We have the gift of being able to raise our feminine energy that empowers us to create fully, to let go, to nurture, to follow, to trust and to believe with our hearts. It’s the part of us that allows us to feel and unleash our intuition. It’s the part of us that millions of women suppress in an effort to succeed in a man’s world by living solely off our masculine energy, without realizing that by doing so we are living as half of our True Selves; that by doing so we are not fully whole. Without realizing that once we raise our feminine energy to equal our masculine energy and are completely whole we can accomplish every goal, every dream, every wish. We have the opportunity to raise our heart energy, our courage (because courage comes from the word heart in Latin!), to live more in our hearts and less in our fears.

After all, isn’t that what Superwomen would do? Act from her heart and not from fear?

Our truest wishes lay ahead of us…let’s go bring them to life by honoring our True Selves in every moment!


Protection Heart Pin by Vanda Teixeira The Protection Heart Pin was created by Vanda Teixeira, Atlanta-based futurist on the economic empowerment of women and the women’s economy and divine intuitive energy healer, to help women raise their heart energy so they live more in their hearts and less in their fears. It empowers a woman to live her life true to who she really is, and to own her power. Learn more by clicking here!




31 Essences Special Edition CoverVanda also wrote To Be A Woman: 31 Powerful Essences to Awaken Your True Self and Transform Your Life to help women awaken all of their Essences of Being a Woman. This book is not about a healing modality or a therapy or somebody else’s star. This book is to remind you that there is an energy so pure, so divine, so mystical, so powerful, that intertwines through your heart, connects you to your soul—that when you are connected, you are that magic. You are your own star. You are that pure manifestation of God’s creation, unique in its perfection, each and every time. Available in luxury, special edition hardcover and paperback in the To Be A Woman Signature Boutique and on Amazon.